Education and Support for parents, carers and teachers of challenging children.

If You Want Kids to Co-operate...Just Ask

2010-11-15T22:19:00.003+10:00

It's been a while since my last blog.
Lots has happened in the last 3 months.
I will fill you in more soon but in a nutshell I have written and released my 4th book- 'If you want kids to co-operate...Just ask!'
This book is based on many of the tips of the week I have been sharing plus lots and lots more.
The book is designed to empower parent to enjoy happy and healthy relationships with their children.

We have also started a new business with an awesome product designed to ease pain stress and tension from the body. The product is being featured on Today Tonight on Tuesday 16th- channel 7 at 6.30pm. We have been very busy launching this and will take it around much of Australia next year.

You can check out both my new book at the Hi Dow pain relief machine machine on my website www.hiddendangers.com.au.
Love to hear what you think

Be willing to compromise and negotiate with your children.

2010-08-01T21:47:00.001+10:00

TIP 20-

Be willing to compromise and negotiate with your children.

If we are working with our children to gain cooperation there will be lots of compromise and negotiation along the way. No one likes being told “That’s the way it is because I said so”.

In a fair situation no one takes total control.

In great relationships there is always compromise and negotiation, whether it be between a child and parent, partners, friends or work colleagues.

By regularly discussing things with your child they will learn and understand there has to be give and take and mutual respect for each others ideas and thoughts.
As adults it is up to us to show our children and set the example. No one will complain about a fair and just negotiation or compromise and it is a much easier way to gain cooperation all round!

Be able to admit that something you did may have been wrong and be willing to apologise.

2010-07-26T12:23:00.000+10:00

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie
TIP 19-
Be able to admit that something you did may have been wrong and be willing to apologise.

It is expected that if children make a mistake or doing something wrong or inappropriate that they apologise. The same should be expected of parents and carers of children. If you lose your cool, yell, try to control or treat your child in any way that you would not like to be treated just tell them you are “sorry” or ask for their forgiveness (or better still both). Children really appreciate that we too make mistakes and are very quick to forgive us, especially when we apologise for any parenting ‘meltdowns’.

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie TIP 18- As parents we are both the teacher and the student. Be ready for your lessons!

2010-07-19T14:42:00.000+10:00

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie
TIP 18-
As parents we are both the teacher and the student.
Be ready for your lessons!
Our role as parents are to guide our children, to encourage and support them from toddler to adult. It is about allowing them to experience life and make decisions and choices that affect them (which are age appropriate). It is about teaching them by example; love, tolerance, integrity, acceptance, respect, cooperation and many of the values important for a well balanced life.
It is also about letting go of only being the teacher and being open to also being the student. Today’s children have so many lessons for us and we too must be willing to be open and ready to learn from them. Our children chose us as parents and for that we must be so grateful and embrace the lessons they were sent to teach us.
So keep your eyes and mind open for those lessons, allow your relationship with your children to include being both the teacher and the student!

2010-07-12T21:56:00.000+10:00

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie
TIP 17-
Don’t sweat the small stuff!
Sometimes we get caught up with the little things our children do (or don’t do) that sends our tolerance temperature gauge up high. Keeping in mind that we want to focus our communications with our children on the ‘positive’ things they do, does it really make sense to worry about all the small stuff. Continue to let your children know you love, tolerate and support them at all times and if ‘the small stuff’ is really annoying you discuss it with your child at a time when you are both calm. The discussion should be to gain cooperation and perhaps come to a compromise NOT for you to TELL them what YOU want.

Does Anyone Know What Causes ADHD?

2010-07-06T23:00:00.002+10:00

Does Anyone Know What Causes ADHD?

Thought this would be of interest. Some good information.

Most would answer no, we don’t. However, we do know the food choices of most children are beyond poor. How could you possibly expect a child to have normal behavior if he is fed refined grains, sugars, processed foods loaded with chemicals, and juices and soft drinks instead of pure water? Add to that 90 percent fewer vegetables than what is required for health, along with an overabundance of omega-6 fats and a virtual lack of omega-3 fats.

If you are a cook you will immediately recognise that this is a recipe for disaster. You simply cannot have a healthy functioning brain in a child that is not given the proper ingredients to develop optimal brain function.

This is not rocket science, folks. But it is easy to understand why there is so much confusion regarding this issue when the drug companies spend BILLIONS of dollars to confuse you with direct-to-consumer ads on TV (in US), in addition to brainwashing physicians to stick to the belief system that drugs, not foods, are the answer for children with behavior problems.

Five Powerful Tools to Virtually Eliminate ADHD!

* Eliminate most grains and sugars from your/your child’s diet
* Replace soft drinks, fruit juices and pasteurised milk with clean water
* Increase omega-3 fats by taking an effective form of omega-3 oil like krill oil
* Minimise your use of nearly all vegetable oils -- they are loaded with omega-6 fats, which distort the powerful omega-6:3 ratio
* Avoid all processed foods, especially those containing artificial colors, flavours and preservatives

By Dr. Mercola | December 01 2007

See Hidden Dangers book for more info on theses topics at www.hiddendangers.com.au

State sued for school 'abuse' of autistic boy

2010-07-06T19:44:00.002+10:00

A must read for ALL PARENTS AND CARERS OF CHILDREN

State sued for school 'abuse' of autistic boy
NATALIE CRAIG
July 4, 2010

A SEVERELY autistic boy is suing the state government over claims he was abused and ''chemically restrained'' with medication by his ex-school.

The claim comes as disability advocates say autistic children are increasingly sedated with drugs in place of effective behavioural treatments.

Ellen Modra is suing in the Federal Court on behalf of her son Luke, now 21, under the Disability Discrimination Act.

Ms Modra says staff at a school for autism in Melbourne conspired with a medical practitioner to prescribe her son, then about 12, with three times the recommended dose of antipsychotic drug risperidone. As a result Luke developed a neurological condition characterised by jerky, involuntary movements, she alleges.

She says he was also physically restrained and abused while in respite care and at school, including being locked for long periods in a courtyard.

''The school was supposed to be there for people with autism, but we wound up in a situation where nobody loved him, nobody wanted him and he deteriorated,'' Mrs Modra told The Sunday Age. ''They told us he was incapable of learning … the best they could do was try to contain him with drugs.''

In May, Victoria's Senior Practitioner, Jeffrey Chan, called for a review of the increasing number of young Victorians in state care being ''chemically restrained'' with mood stabilisers and sedatives.

Disability advocate Julie Phillips said she was helping several parents of autistic children whose schools had recommended medication.

''Schools are increasingly making requests that parents consider medication, which is often linked with an inability to support the child in the class,'' Ms Phillips said. ''They simply lack the resources to cope.''

The Sunday Age last month reported that an autistic boy who had been taking Prozac suffered a violent breakdown at his Geelong school. His mother said he had been taking the drug on advice from the school, and it distorted his moods.

The school said it had suggested the student required an acute management plan that included medication, which had been suggested by a doctor.

Another parent, who is considering suing the state over her son's treatment at a special school, said the school invited parents to a presentation on behavioural medications. ''I was gobsmacked,'' she said. ''They were essentially promoting drugs for our children.''

Ms Modra said her son's school insisted he be medicated in order to attend, and that staff liaised directly with his doctor, who eventually increased his risperidone dose to three times the maximum recommended for autism.

''We were so emotional and distressed at what was happening, we agreed. But we now know it was chemical restraint,'' Ms Modra said.

Professor Alasdair Vance, head of child psychiatry at the Royal Children's Hospital, said risperidone, in conjunction with social treatments, was appropriate as a last resort.

He said schools had to ensure all children were safe and able to learn, and parents needed to work with schools to develop appropriate programs.

Early intervention programs for children with autism were making significant inroads in treating the disorder, and many schools had provided effective autism programs, he said.

An Education Department spokesman declined to comment on the Modra case but said: ''From time to time, families ask and give their permission to schools to provide information to medical specialists about the well-being or behaviour of their child during school hours … medical specialists may use the information to help make an assessment … ''

If you are co- parenting it is SO important to be back to back with each other

2010-07-05T20:19:00.003+10:00

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie
TIP 16-
If you are co- parenting it is SO important to be back to back with each other.*
The parenting messages you send to your children will be way more effective if both parents/carers are consistent in their communications with the child.
Children are clever and will play one against the other if they see inconsistencies. They will also be confused if one parent says and does something one way and the other parent another way. Parenting should be team work. You should both work out your parenting style and not contradict one another (especially in front of the children). Support each other as parents as your joint goal is surely to have happy and healthy children and relationships all round.

*This takes much work from all that play a large role in raising your children, Whether you are raising your children together or separately it is important to be on the same page. Involve people like extended family and teachers and let them know your parenting ideas and strategies. If it works for you at home it will be even more effective if followed outside the home if possible.
This is not always possible but at least communicate with those outside the home that care for your child. I’m sure they want the best out of and for your child too :)

Be a Role Model . Young children are like sponges.

2010-06-28T23:26:00.000+10:00

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie
TIP 15-

Be a Role Model . Young children are like sponges.

As parents we are our children’s first role model. We have to pay close attention to what we say and do around our children and think about what kind of example we are making. If we want our children to listen to us we have to show we can listen to them. If we want them to respect us we must also show them respect. If we want them to openly communicate with us we must communicate openly with them. It is not fair to expect children to do as we say and not what we do. We are their example!!

Phrase all the consequences you give your children in a POSITIVE tense rather than a NEGATIVE one.

2010-06-21T23:11:00.000+10:00

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie
TIP 14-

Phrase all the consequences you give your children in a POSITIVE tense rather than a NEGATIVE one.

Use the word “When” instead of “If”. For example, “When you have eaten your dinner, you can have some of that yummy desert” instead of
“If you don’t eat your dinner you can’t have any of that yummy desert” When you are consistent with terming everything in a positive way your children will learn the consequence of reward for effort rather than punishment for non effort.

The Matthew Smith story

2010-06-16T23:47:00.000+10:00

SUPPORTING CHALLENGING CHILDREN You may have heard me mention this story in my webinar or read it in my Hidden Dangers book. I am posting this just for you to be more educated, not to judge anyone!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfzkDM2hF-0&NR=1

The Matthew Smith Story

www.youtube.com

2010-06-14T13:10:00.002+10:00

Hi everyone,
if you have been following the tips of week you should now have read 13 of them...time flies. It doesn't seem like 13 weeks since I started. I hope you are getting value from them.
Most won't know this but I am currently writing my 4th book which will expand on the Revolting Child book but have more on parenting.

I would like to ask anyone that has benefited either from the tips of the week or from reading my 'Revolting Child' book to let me know as I will be wanting some testimonies for my new book.
I would love to hear how any of this information has helped you in your parenting with any specific or general examples. Any testimonies that re printed in my new book will be in the first to receive a complimentary, signed copy so please let me know if you would like to share your own success story.
Thanks, Cheers, Lillian

The MORE we give to our children the MORE we will get back.

2010-06-14T13:04:00.000+10:00

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie
TIP 13-
The MORE we give to our children the MORE we will get back.

We’ve all heard of the saying, “What we give out, we get back”. This is never truer than with our relationship with our children.
The more love we give, the more respect we show, the more understanding we are, the more we accept , the more tolerance we show, the more cooperation we gain, the more trust we have, the more harmonious we are, the more belief we have.......
the more this will be given to us in return.
The same goes for the opposite emotions...the more anger, the more distrust, the more control, the more lack of respect.............
So what is it that you want?

Listen respectfully to your child’s ideas and feelings.

2010-06-07T09:46:00.001+10:00

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie
TIP 12-
Listen respectfully to your child’s ideas and feelings.
Your child, regardless of their age will have many worthwhile and valid ideas to contribute and they will also have feelings (that we may not always be in alignment with). It is important that we respect those ideas and feelings and allow them to feel comfortable expressing them. If we do not openly and respectfully listen to our children they will NOT want to share with us and will find others to express their feelings to.*

* If we deeply disagree with the ideas or feelings the child has we can let them know how we feel. We must still validate their ideas and feelings however and not make them feel like they are not worthy of their own thoughts. A discussion to express your ideas and feelings could be good as long as it is not used to say “It’s my way or the highway”. If expressed carefully the child may see it respectfully from your perspective as well. This encourages MUTUAL respect if you have differences.
Imagine if a good friend or colleague expressed an idea or feeling to you. Would you listen and respect their thoughts even if you didn’t agree and perhaps be diplomatic about expressing your thoughts if they were very different. Or would you not validate them, ignore them or tell them that’s wrong, no good or not viable.
The same respect should be given to your children 

Spend QUALITY time with your children

2010-05-30T23:12:00.000+10:00

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie
TIP 11-
Spend QUALITY time with your children doing the things they enjoy or that you can both enjoy together.*
Your children will enjoy a day out with you or even an hour or so doing something special together much more than any material gift and will value and remember that time long after any gift is forgotten about or broken.

* Think about the positive things you remember most from your childhood. What are the memories that stand out for you? Was it that exciting present you got when you were 9 or was it that fun day out or holiday you had? Was it that time you spent with your Mum or Dad doing something special that you really enjoyed?

I am sure that in many years to come Caleb will remember the special times he and Andrew are having rebuilding and restoring his car. They have spent hundreds of hours over the last few months together in the garage, getting dirty, laughing and learning together. This is something we could never have bought for Caleb. We could have handed him a new car and yes he would have loved and appreciated it but the memories of working on his car and the love shared will be so precious and remembered and appreciated always.

0- Show your children you are their biggest supporter; their number 1 FAN

2010-05-24T20:16:00.001+10:00

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie
TIP 10-
Show your children you are their biggest supporter; their number 1 FAN!!*
Regardless of what our children say, do or how they act we have to show them that we love them unconditionally and will not judge them or their actions. If our children know we will not judge them they will be more likely to confide in us and tell us what is happening in their lives as they will not fear being judged, criticised or yelled at.
Regardless of who else is putting them down we have to be their ROCK, the constant that will always be there to love and support them through any challenge.

* Regardless of their age (5,15 or 25)our children need to feel our support and that we are batting for them. We have to remain strong and supportive throughout ALL challenges (easier said than done I know). But the bigger the challenge the more support they will need. Any challenge can be rectified if you work as a team with your child. Work against them and the likely hood is the challenge will escalate. They will then look to others for support.
Did you know this is how and why lots of kids get involved in gangs and various groups? Because they were looking for somewhere to belong, someone or something that would make them feel important even if it is a negative influence!!! Food for thought.

If you want HAPPY and HEALTHY children reduce the toxins in their home

2010-05-17T12:16:00.001+10:00

Nathan (my eldest son that is a Naturopath) and I went to a great health conference yesterday with 6 awesome health speakers. While they all had different topics and different levels of expertise their messages were similar.
I liked what Mark Edmonson said about why we don't succeed- and this means succeed in health, career, finances, happiness, relationships ...anything. He said there were 6 main reasons why we don't succeed-
1. Lack of knowledge
2. Poor mental conditioning
3. Poor health
4. Poor fitness
5 .Poor nutrition
6. Poor choices.

I felt good about the fact that I am working in all of theses areas. Yes I am passionate about health but combining all of these criteria ensures overall health of mind, body and spirit.

One thing that was unanimous and why I made it the 'tip of the week' was that we need to reduce toxins in our lives. In the world we live in there are so MANY harmful and potentially health affecting toxins. While we can't avoid all of them I do believe we can control what we put onto and into out bodies. That is we can choose the foods we eat and the products we use on our bodies and around our homes.
*If you are not familiar with a safety conscious company please let me know.

So make it a priority to make your living environment as toxin free as possible!!

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie
TIP 9-
If you want HAPPY and HEALTHY children reduce the toxins in their home and the environment they spend most time in.*
We don’t always realise how every day toxins can affect our health so adversely, especially for our children. Many of the health and behavioural challenges our children experience today can be minimised by reducing the many toxins and harmful chemicals in our food and personal and household products.

* While this may sound daunting it really isn’t that difficult to do if you make the decision and just follow through to make the best choices you can.
(You may also need to educate others like the school, childcare facility or other friends/family members that the children spend time with.)
Reduce toxins in food by eating the least amount of processed food, avoiding all artificial colours, flavours and preservatives and other food additives. Make MOST of your diet fresh and preferably organic and drink plenty of fresh filtered water. Be diligent with what you put onto your bodies as well as around your home. Purchase products from a company that is committed to ‘safety conscious’ formulas that will do your family no harm. Look at all products, especially those you use for the children like toothpaste, hair care and body care etc. Remember also the importance of a good non toxic washing powder and other cleaning and household products.
For more information on these topics you can read my book ‘Hidden Dangers’ available at www.hiddendangers.com.au

Make every day a ‘Happy Mother’s Day’.

2010-05-09T19:15:00.000+10:00

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie
TIP 8-
Make every day a ‘Happy Mother’s Day’.
We all know the old saying, “Treat others the way you want to be treated” This is never more important than when dealing with our children. Ask yourself, “Do you like being yelled at, nagged, spoken down to, controlled, treated with disrespect, not allowed to express your opinions, feelings or thoughts?”
Your children are the same. They want to be treated with the same respect and courtesy. They deserve to be treated the same as you expect them to treat you.
If you have a child that is not showing you the respect and cooperation you believe you deserve as a parent look carefully at what you are giving out.
There may lay the answers!
When you work this out... every day will be Mothers Day (or Fathers Day or Carers or Teachers day) as your children will put you up high on the same level that you put them... plus more. They will want to give back tenfold!

Beware: New Mental Health Labels Being Invented

2010-05-07T16:57:00.001+10:00

Beware: New Mental Health Labels Being Invented

It seems that the world is about to become a much more mentally unstable place! All that it will take is the publication of a revision of a very important book: The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). This publication is the ‘Bible of Psychiatry’ as it describes all the mental disorders known to man (and then some!). It is therefore the first thing that a psychiatrist will reach for when attempting to make a diagnosis.

The proposed new edition of the DSM is attracting widespread criticism as it is felt that the psychiatrists working on it must suffer from a disorder off their own namely “Over Definition Addiction”!

Many things that were previously just seen as being part of the scale of normal human behaviour are described as disorders in the manual. Whatever you are struggling with, it seems that the new DSM will have a label for you:

• Rudeness – Antisocial Behaviour Disorder
• Temper Tantrums – Temper Dysregulation with Dysphoria
• Overeating – Binge Eating Disorder
• Rebelliousness – Oppositional Defiant Disorder
• Promiscuousness – Hypersexual Disorder
• Attention Seeking – Histrionic Personality Disorder

• Selfishness – Narcissistic Behaviour Disorder

All of this labelling would actually have been extremely funny if it was not so very dangerous. Those of us who have been working in the field of ADD/ADHD for a long time are acutely aware of these dangers and should be at the forefront of warning people not to be sucked in by this ‘medicalisation’ of everyday life.

These could be a few of the dangers:

· Increased levels of psychiatric treatment: It is not overly cynical to point out that for every new ‘disorder’ that is described, new treatments will also be needed. It is therefore in the best interest of psychologists and psychiatrists to keep inventing new categories of disorders.

· The more there are, the busier they will be! in labelling everyday challenging behaviour. In this way mental health professionals make sure that they will be in business for a long time to come!

· Blame shifting: It is a well-known fact that taking personal responsibility is a vital first step in achieving lasting behaviour modification.

· People will now be able to say things like: “It’s not that I want to act like this, my problem is that I have oppositional defiant disorder!” If these revisions are accepted we should all expect a world where more and more people will shift the responsibility for their problems to other people.

· This will be a world that will keep lawyers happy (e.g. lawsuits by obese people against fast food companies will have so much more chance of succeeding if they can point to the fact that they have a recognised mental disorder i.e. ’Binge Eating Disorder’!) Is this really the kind of world we want to live in?

· A world in which very few people take responsibility for their actions and in which we will continually be told that we cannot even hope to deal with daily life without some form of treatment.

· Increased rates of medication: Perhaps the most serious implication of the proposed DSM revision is the fact that many psychiatrists will choose to treat these ‘conditions’ with drugs. The implications of this for the young generation are simply staggering. Can we really afford to have an even bigger proportion of people drugged out of their minds simply because of the perception that they suffer from some kind of disorder.

We tinker with the workings of the human brain at our peril and this revision will certainly be interpreted by many in the mental health field as an invitation to tinker on a massive scale.

What are the implications of all of this for people with ADHD? We may need to prepare ourselves for an onslaught of ‘combination diagnoses’. The growing public awareness of the dangers of medicating kids with ADHD (and of the fact that there are alternatives available) means that an increasing number of parents are asking some hard questions before resorting to medication.

This trend obviously makes the drug companies very nervous. They may try to maintain sky-high prescription rates by encouraging medical professionals not to stop at simple ADHD diagnoses. Coupling the ADHD with something else (e.g. ADHD with ‘Oppositional Defiant Disorder’) make it sound much more serious and therefore beyond the scope of alternative methods to deal with ADHD.

This could be the reason for the increase in double-barrel diagnoses (ADD/ADHD and …). These will obviously only increase once all of the new disorders have been made official.

So what should we do when people want to take away our responsibilities as human beings and put us on medication to ‘make things better’?

Perhaps our response should be the same whenever we are confronted with something dangerous: Just say “no”!

Know what your children’s highest valuesare and work with them in alignment with THEIR values and not (necessarily) YOURS.

2010-05-03T14:39:00.001+10:00

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie

TIP 7-

Know what your children’s highest values are and work with them in alignment with THEIR values and not (necessarily) YOURS.*

Your children’s most important values will ultimately determine what they do and how they will live their lives. It can be when we try to instil values that are not congruent with the child that they revolt or become uncooperative. Our values are our cherished beliefs and standards for right and wrong. They provide direction and meaning to life and can inspire constructive behaviour.

*If it is high on your list of values for example that the children get a ‘good’ education and do their homework and study but it is not on the child’s high list of values you can still look for ways to come to a compromise. For example if the child really loves animals and wants to spend all their time with animals and neglect their school work you may be able to find out that through that high value of ‘loving animals’ that the child would love to be a vet. You can then use the value that is high for your child to discuss that in order to be a vet they will need to complete secondary school with high enough marks to get into university to study to become a veterinarian. This same principal can be used for lots of areas. So find out what your child’s highest values are and work with them to achieving them. If you are clever and work cooperatively with your child you may also see your highest values for your child be fulfilled. (But don’t force them if you are not in alignment)

My perception of a ‘good’ education was to finish high school and go to University and for Nathan that was also in his highest values but for Caleb it was not. I had to allow him to work within his own values and to make his own decisions for HIS future. It was hard for me to ‘let go’. But when I did and Caleb knew we understood that conventional education was not a high value for him and that we had ‘faith’ in him to follow his own set of values...he made MUCH better choices. We could have FORCED him into remaining at school (legally) but what sort of outcome do you think we would have had?

Have you ever heard of parents forcing their child to fulfil the parents highest values. In ALL instances what do you believe the outcome would be?

What do we do in those moments that we just want to SCREAM at our kids

2010-04-29T10:09:00.003+10:00

I wanted to comment today on Marina's response to the last blog post. It was very honest of Marina to say what she has because I'm sure we have all felt that way at one time or another.
Marina commented...
"I would soooo love to see a list of alternate suggestions for those "I just want to scream" moments, because I hate, hate, hate it when my children model yucky behaviour that I realise they have learnt from me! " (see her full comment under last post)

Good question Marina. I know that we have all yelled and screamed at our children, mostly in pure frustration and often knowing it doesn't work... but doing it anyway. Then...as you say we see them mimic us, modelling the behaviour we have unconsciously taught them.

I will share with you some of the things that happened for us, that transformed our parenting from yelling/screaming and nagging (not all the time!) to a more peaceful home environment of mutual respect.

Only a couple of years or so ago our family dynamics were VERY different and if you have read 'The Revolting Child' book you will understand what was happening. Personally as a parent I was very frustrated with Caleb's choices and his behaviour and attitude. And yes Marina I had many of those "I just want to SCREAM moments" because I didn't understand Caleb and what he was going through. I didn't know why he was doing what he was and making all the choices he was.
When I started to stop and look at Caleb as an equal with his own thoughts opinions and goals and asked myself "why" he was doing what he was I could be more objective rather than reactive. So instead of yelling and saying "Why did you.....?", "Why can't you....?" I asked myself... "How can I help?"
Interestingly when I stopped (or hugely minimised) judging and yelling and showed Caleb more respect his behaviours and judgments started improving HUGELY. Hence my "I want to yell moments" also reduced hugely.

So....what do we do when we want to 'scream, yell, judge, control, nag'
I believe..

Look at what is happening, what are the kids doing /saying/ not doing that is making your blood pressure rise.
Do not react!!!!!
Ask yourself quietly , "What is the outcome I desire here?"
If your outcome is to gain cooperation, ask yourself..."Will yelling help?"
If you get a quick "No"
Assess quickly why you think the child/children are behaving the way they are. Why do you feel your blood pressure rising? What is happening?
Now ask yourself "How can I gain their cooperation?" Can you calmly ask your child for their cooperation. Show them that you respect their opinions. You may even be able to ask them "How can I help you?" Do this calmly and without judgement. If you have already yelled or not listened to them a great ice breaker is to say "I'm sorry for that.....I was feeling......."
Be honest with your children, they will really respect you. Let them see that you value them and can see why they may have been uncooperative. Discuss a middle ground that will make both parties happier.
Compromise and build on from that.
In a nut shell.. we can all get frustrated with each other. If you show your children (and age doesn't matter here) that they are valued and respected they in turn will mirror that back...Just like they mirror back the negative behaviours like yelling and screaming.
The more we can treat our children with respect and value them, the more they will want to return that to us and the LESS you will want to or need to yell and srceam. It can take some time and much self correcting of our behaviours but you know what? Children learn fast, they are smart and mostly they too want to be in a calm , happy and cooperative environment.

Hope this helps and love to hear how you go :)
Happy parenting
Cheers,
Lillian

2010-04-26T22:02:00.000+10:00

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie

TIP 6-

Treat your children like a well respected visitor or guest in your home.*

If you pay your children the common courtesy you would a respected guest in your home it is highly likely that it will be reciprocated. The more you treat your children this way the more they will want to treat you the same. We use this courtesy in most instances when dealing with other adults at work or in social situations, so why not with our children?

*Think of a situation in YOUR life when you HAVE NOT been treated with respect. It may have been by a parent, a teacher, a spouse, a sibling, a friend, a co worker or a boss or superior at work. How did you feel? or How would you imagine feeling if you have had the good fortune of never being treated this way? Did you or would you respond positively to being treated this way? Would you want to cooperate and be helpful?

Now imagine how your child may feel if they are being controlled, belittled, yelled at or even told they are hopeless or useless etc. Imagine how they feel if they are not given the opportunity to voice THEIR opinion or thoughts, if they are TOLD what to do and ordered around like a slave*. Do you think they would want to be the most cooperative and have the best and loving attitude?

Think about the words/tone you use and how they come across to your child and then ask yourself... “Is that the way I would like to be spoken to?”

*Slavery is asking or making someone do something without saying please. It is expecting obedience. A slave has only one purpose in life, and that’s to destroy the master.(from conversations with Frank in The Revolting Child book)

ADHD Hidden Dangers Book

2010-04-21T17:40:00.000+10:00

Attention Defecit Hyperactivity Disorder Dr. Drug'emall

2010-04-21T16:54:00.000+10:00

TIP 5- Focus on the outcome you WANT*

2010-04-20T17:43:00.002+10:00

Just want to share the latest tip of the week. This tip not only applies to dealing with challenging children but to life in general. I hope you enjoy it and implement it to your life! For prior tips scroll through the prior blog posts.

TIP OF THE WEEK-
TIP 5-
Focus on the outcome you WANT*
The ‘Law of Attraction’ teaches us that what we give most thought to is what we actually attract. It makes sense then, that we should focus our thoughts, spoken words and all that we do on the positive outcome WE WANT rather than what we DO NOT want.

*It is human nature it seems to focus on the things we don’t like, don’t want and that are negative in our lives. This can be especially so when dealing with challenging children as the challenges being presented are there in physical form for us to see, hear and feel. We must train ourselves to turn that around and think MORE of the positive outcome we desire. Instead of thinking and verbalising those things that we are not happy with , we must turn those thoughts around visualising that positive outcome, even if it feels like it’s so far away. The more thought we give to what we want, the more the universe will conspire to provide that to us, in turn leading us to solving the challenges and focusing only on the solutions. The universe will also equally conspire to provide the continuous of the negative happenings if that is what we give most thought to.
So...........What are you thinking??

Happy parenting

ADHD/MEDICATION- Why are they medicating our children?

2010-04-15T13:15:00.001+10:00

Last night I did the first webinar in my series to educate and inform parents, especially those with challenging children.
It was about ADHD and other conditions and the medications that are being prescribed.

This is just some of the information shared-

-ADD-ADHD drugs have been proven to alter brain chemistry and damage vital organs like the heart and liver.

-ADD-ADHD is a set of symptoms, and does not require a medication to treat. Medication simply masks the real issues, acting like a band-aid.
Methylphenidates (like Ritalin and Adderall) have caused deaths of otherwise healthy children and teenagers.

-The chemical make-up of Methylphenidates are extremely similar to that of crack cocaine, and children using it often exhibit similar side effects as crack addicts.
Ritalin is one of the Nation's top ten abused drugs, by teens and adults. (US)

-Schools and Doctors are more likely to coerce you into you using ADD-ADHD because they receive "cash bonuses" for every child. (in US but signs of happening here in Australia)

-The FDA was aware of the potential dangers of certain ADD-ADHD medications and marketed them anyway for profit.

-ADD drugs often produce the symptoms they are supposed to be repressing. For example, the FDA received numerous reports of children using ADD-ADHD medications showing aggressive behavior. Up to 20% of these reported cases resulted in severe injury or hospitalisation

SOME OF THE MEDICATIONS BEING PRESCRIBED AND THE ADVERSE SIDE EFFECTS...

RITALIN
Loss of appetite
Blurred vision
Dizziness
Lightheadedness
Headache
Dry mouth
Stomach upset
Sleeplessness
Irritability or constipation may occur the first few days as your body adjusts to the medication.

Over the years Ritalin has been implicated in all of the following:

Cardiac Arrest: There are many documented cases where heart failure in otherwise healthy children was traced back to their use of Ritalin.

Suicide: It is a disturbing fact to note that the suicide rate among children aged 5-14 more than doubled over the past 20 years. This is also the period that prescriptions for ADD-ADHD medications went through the roof.
Increased cancer risk: In 2005 Texas researchers found that after just three months, every one of a dozen children treated for attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) with the drug methylphenidate (the active ingredient in Ritalin) experienced a threefold increase in levels of chromosome abnormalities— occurrences associated with increased risks of cancer and other adverse health effects.

Homicide: What motivates a young person to take a gun to school, point it at his schoolmates and let rip!? We desperately need answers to this question as an epidemic of school shootings wash across the nation. The one factor that is rarely reported is that prescription drugs were involved somewhere in the mix with just about every school shooting over the past 2 decades

Addiction: Like cocaine, Ritalin is a powerful stimulant that increases alertness and productivity. Ritalin and cocaine also look and act the same. Both have a similar chemical structure, and both increase dopamine levels in the brain

CONCERTA
Headache Upper respiratory tract infection
Stomach ache
Vomiting
Loss of appetite
Sleeplessness
Increase cough
Sore throat
Sinusitis
Dizziness
Reduced stature
Tics
Moodiness
Psychosis

Concerta contains the same active ingredient (Methylphenidate) as Ritalin and is therefore essentially the same drug. The only difference between the two is that
Concerta works on a 'sustained release' principle with the active ingredient being released into the blood stream over a longer period.

STRATTERA
Stomach upset
Vomiting
Constipation
Fatigue
Loss of appetite
Dry mouth
Dizziness
Trouble sleeping
Menstrual cycle changes
Mood changes may occur

There are numerous instances of Strattera being implicated as the 'prime suspect' in suicides. Parents reported normally content and happy children suddenly slipping into dark moods and depression. Sometimes with tragic results: Thirteen year old
Adrian David Wade committed suicide in October 2004 after being on Strattera for only four months. His parents directly attributed his death to the drug.

Adrian's case, although desperately sad, is not unique. A report by the British Medicines and Healthcare Regulatory Authority implicated Strattera in 130 reports of suicidal thoughts and behaviors. It also listed 766 spontaneous reports of cardiac disorders and 172 of liver injury, and about 20 completed suicides.

IF THIS IS INFORMATION THAT YOU TOO FEEL OTHER PARENTS AND TEACHERS NEED TO KNOW PLEASE PASS THIS ON.

Happy parenting,
cheers,
Lillian

Don't give up...visualise the outcome you desire

2010-04-11T20:56:00.001+10:00

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie
TIP 4-
Don’t...Give...Up...*
If you are in the midst of working through challenges with your family, perhaps with a particular child, and you’re feeling lost or unsure... don’t give up. Believe that all you need to help solve your challenge is coming to you.

* Don’t...Give...Up is lesson 10 from the bestselling book ‘The Mastery Club’ by Liliane Grace.
To find out more go to www.hiddendangers.com.au then click on ‘ People Making a difference’. You will see the Mastery Club link there.

In her summary of Mastery Club lesson 10, Liliane says.. “Sometimes it’s hardest just before you’re about to achieve your goal. That’s why they say ’It’s darkest before dawn’ If everything seems to be going wrong, hang in there! Don’t fall for how things look. Be a creator, be the cause. Your life is in your hands.”

I urge you if you haven't already done so to read this book, especially if have have children aged 8-18. It's a valuable and fun story.

Don't give up is lesson 10, the other 9 are just as valuable.

Look forward to catching you on the webinars and home study group.
Have a great week.
Lillian

HOW DO WE GET OTHERS TO UNDERSTAND OUR CHILDREN?

2010-04-09T19:06:00.001+10:00

I thought it was about time I answered some more questions from the survey.
This week I have been extremely busy getting the home study support group up and happening (there are still some places left)as well as our first webinar for next Wednesday 14th on ADHD/medication.
My intention was to write a new blog entry every day or two but time just hasn't permitted me to do so.

One very common thread through many of your comments was that there is a frustration out there getting others to understand your childs needs or how to get the best out of your child. These comments came from many parents but also some educators frustrated that parents were not open to looking at things like diet and new parenting skills so it does go both ways. There were even comments from parents saying other parents don't understand and judge them and their child. Even some comments that the childs other parent, siblings and other close relatives have problems understanding and dealing with the child.
I know that when we were dealing with Caleb, we had to be pretty pedantic about things like diet and eliminating toxins from his life.
Many I'm sure thought that we were over the top and what would one lolly or additive laden product do to hurt him. Others didn't understand how dramatic an effect could be if Caleb went off his routine of healthy diet and supplementation. Some got to see it first hand!!!!!

I think the first thing I would say is to establish a support group of family/teachers/friends that understand what you are trying to achieve.Let these people know why you are doing what you are and ask for their cooperation...yes we should do this with adults too. No one likes being told!!

Also most importantly gain your child's cooperation so they too know why you may be doing things a bit different from the norm. You can make an example of yourself by standing tall and proud that you are doing the best for your child and that you are willing to learn more to improve the situation. No one has the right to judge you for doing what is in YOUR child's best interests, it's not their business. If you have people of importance like a carer or teacher that does not seem to understand,ask for an appointment to sit down and talk to them, to gain their cooperation. Explain to them what you are doing and why and that their support is important. Share with them wins at home like when you have talked to your child and gained cooperation instead of yelling that your child responded positively.
Work hard at home to do as much as you can to gain results that you can then share with your teaches etc (just be careful to not have them feel like you are 'telling them' what to do but just what is working for you at home.) If they are a caring teacher they'll get it and try it out too. Also gain their cooperation regarding special dietary needs etc.
I still hear so many horror stories about kids being given foods that they are reactive to even after asking that they don't.

Also sometimes the third party approach is good. I hear of lots of parents sharing my books with their teachers and others close to the child to help then get their own ahaa's.

There really is so much you can do.
In summary-

Stand strong
Gain cooperation
Continue your education
Know that you are doing your best
Continue to tell your child how much you love them and how proud you are (unconditionally)
Draw on your support group often for encouragement or a shoulder if you need it.

Happy parenting
cheers,
Lillian

Know your body, What are you sensitive or allergic to.

2010-04-04T19:15:00.001+10:00

Each week I send out a tip of the week to those that are on my mailing list. Some of you reading this blog may not be receiving them so I thought I would also add here.
If you would like to be added to the mailing list please let me know.

TIP OF THE WEEK - By Lillian Reekie
TIP 1-
‘Treat your child with total LOVE* and TOLERANCE* at all times.’
Regardless of what your child has or has not done we have to show them that we are TOTALLY on their side,
that we love them unconditionally and that we are there to support and encourage them under all circumstances and conditions.

*Love- is the ability not to drop your affinity for another person and to keep it there under any circumstances.
*Tolerance- is the ability NOT to show disapproval or disagreement to another person.

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie
TIP 2-
‘Work towards gaining cooperation* with children; NOT control*.’
Instead of trying to control children with force, anger and nagging, talk to them, ask for their opinions and listen to what their wants and solutions are. Have a friendly conversation and let them participate in the solving of the problem.

*Cooperation is having the child operate in the same direction you are.
*Control means to cause a motion by force.

TIP OF THE WEEK- By Lillian Reekie
TIP 3-
Know and listen to your body (and your children’s) ; what you are sensitive to/ what doesn’t make you feel good or you react to or may even be allergic to*.
Keep a food/product diary, especially for your children, as sometimes various reactions can take days to become evident or cumulative in the body. By keeping a diary you can see what the common culprits were in the days prior to the reaction which can be behavioural or physical. Then you can avoid or modify to see if the reaction lessens or disappears*.

*It took me over 20 years to figure out I was reactive to wheat. I would wake up most mornings feeling sick in the stomach or with sharp pains and bloating. I used to eat a lot of vegetarian pasta and grains. When I gave up wheat most of those symptoms disappeared until I put it to the test again and after eating wheat, regretting it BIG time.
* Having allergy testing done is far more effective but this can be a good start. You can also enquire about allergy testing. I’ve just had it done and it is very interesting.

Recently we got invited to my Dads for dinner. He was cooking the boys favourite-ravioli.
I told Dad I couldn’t eat that and would need to bring my own food. Nathan encouraged me to use some special food salts that they make at his clinic that can help negate the effects various foods have on your body.
I was reluctant as I knew that having a full meal of ravioli which is large % wheat would cause havoc but he assured me that it worked well. So I took a few grains of the salt under my tongue before and after the meal.
The meal was really yummy and I did not experience any of my normal reactions of bloating or sharp pains.
Today I put it to the test again (being Easter) I got given a yummy Easter egg (possibly laden with additives) with peanut brittle from Darryl Lea. I thought for the good of all I needed to do some more research so have been consuming the egg throughout the day after having a few lots of the salts. So far so good! But I’m sure it won’t help at the scales 

About the food salts-
Bioactive Food Detox Salt Crystals:-
Description: Bioactive Homeopathic Organic Himalayan Salt Crystals.
Composition: Organic Himalayan salt crystals imprinted with 1750 different vibrations for detoxifying food additives and chemicals.
May promote elimination and detoxification of thousands of food toxins taken orally, including food additives, pesticides, colours, preservatives etc.
May decrease food cravings and assist the bodies inborn feeling for naturally produced food.
For emergency use: If you find that you are reacting to a particular food or drink, then place approximately 10 grains of salt crystal underneath your tongue immediately. This may reduce or mitigate the reactions and assists in elimination quickly.
*If you would like more info on these salts please let us know. Nathan can access these from his clinic (they are made at his clinic and cannot be accessed anywhere else)
There are also different salts for other purposes like environmental detox salts.

Can our personal care products cause ill health?

2010-03-31T22:44:00.000+10:00

Another good survey question.....Allison asks-

What sort of impact do things like deodorant and hairspray have on people?
I have been getting some dizziness/lightheadedness for a few months and have had some tests done.
I am starting to wonder if it is hairspray as it seems to be since I started using it though it could just be a coincidence.

Allison, good question.
It is well known that the many toxins in our mainstream personal care products can cause many and varied health challenges. These challenges can vary from skin reactions to major health risks.
I have quoted some of the studies done on personal care products in my Hidden Dangers book- in 1989 they found that about one third of all ingredients in personal care products were found to be toxic with 778 causing acute toxicity, 146 causing tumours, 218 causing reproductive complications, 314 biological mutation and 376 skin and eye irritation. More recently in 1997 they found 125 cosmetic ingredients suspected of causing cancer and many others birth defects. I wonder where those figures stand at 2010?

I went to a seminar tonight at the holistic health clinic my son Nathans practices from and the Doctor (holistic Dr.), that spoke mentioned how many baby boys are being born with defective sex organs due to all of the xeno estrogen's in our personal care products.

This is a huge topic and one that I will cover further in a webinar so stay tuned.

I was a major migraine sufferer all of my life up until 11 years ago when we converted our home to safety conscious products for Caleb's benefit. Andrew had never known me in all the time we'd known each other to go a month without a migraine. I have now been migraine FREE for 11 years with the exception of a couple of times when I was exposed to chemicals in concentrated doses outside our home.

The company that produces the products we use refuses to add any thing known to be toxic (they avoid over 3,000 toxic chemicals) so for that I am very grateful.

Due you due diligence and take the time to check what you are exposing your family to. For more information on this topic check out my book, 'Hidden Dangers' at www.hiddendangers.com.au

To a healthy home.....
Cheers,
Lillian

What are the challenges in avoiding environmental toxins and additives as children get older?

2010-03-28T20:15:00.000+10:00

Today am going to tackle a question from Renee.

What are the challenges in avoiding environmental toxins and additives as children get older? Does it become easier as they become more able to self monitor and make critical decisions about use of products or consumables?

That's a good question Renee.
For us personally because Caleb was so defiant (as some others are I'm sure) it was a challenge to get him to conform initially , especially to taking some of the supplements. When he was younger and we started getting some herbal formulas that really were hard to take we tried to force them into him even by holding him down (not a good move).

When we found the products we are using now (and have been for 11 plus years) they were thankfully more palatable but I used little tricks like telling Caleb he would beat his Dad in an arm wrestle if he had his minerals. I actually used a bit of reverse psychology and asked him not to take too much or Dad would get upset, being competitive this worked a treat. As he got older 6-12 ish he willingly took them as he knew they made him feel better, some how kids sense this and read their bodies better than we do. Same went for foods and products we used around the house. Caleb just knew he felt better when we worked towards maintaining a healthy home.
I think at a young age if they understand WHY they need to supplement and WHY they need to eat healthier than other kids then they will be more cooperative.

I do remember Caleb throughout late primary and early secondary school NOT wanting to be different especially if he had to go on a school camp or school excursion.
I decided it was easier and more successful to allow him to make the best choices possible rather than have him embarrassed. On the whole he did well and made better choices because he didn't like the reaction he got if he did get too off track.

There were few times when it back fired but they weren't necessarily Caleb's fault like when he had a hot dog (full of colours and preservatives and nitrates) on white bread, white flour, sugar and preservative 282-- all a lethal combination.(Not a good outcome) but he was then actually old enough to understand what had happened and avoided them next time.

I feel you just have to work with the child and have them understand that certain foods and personal products are not good for their body and let therm experience the difference. Sometimes its worth letting them have or do something reactive at home to let them see the consequences. Over the years Caleb has eaten something he shouldn't have then said "Why did I do that?"

I have personally refused to buy toxic personal products in his teenage years that I knew were harmful but he has still managed to get hold of them somehow. Now that he is a young adult we do compromise. But funnily enough he keeps coming back to our non toxic products because the others give him dandruff and bad skin. He started a new skin care product from our range recently and raves about how good his skin looks and feels so I really believe given enough education they will work it out for themselves.

So in summary Renee in some ways it becomes easier and other ways not so. Give your children the information they need to make better choices.. gain their cooperation rather that trying to control them. Help them to believe in their own decision making and I'm sure that on the whole they will make the best choices (or at least learn from the mistakes they make)

Happy parenting,
Cheers,
Lillian

PARENTS FEEL ISOLATED AND NOT SUPPORTED BY SCHOOL OR COMMUNITY... WHAT TO DO!

2010-03-25T23:20:00.000+10:00

Tonight I'm going to tackle one of the comments made in the survey about a parents biggest frustration. I thought of this comment as I have just been reading my book aloud . I'm recording it to make an audio book. (more about that later) I was feeling for those parents whose comments had touched me as the reality of how things were flooded back to me.

I really felt for this mother and what the family are going through, especially because I could relate so to them.
The mother said ... My biggest frustration is... "The isolation you face within the community- and other professionals intimating you as being a bad parent- that you are abusing your child- demanding that you need to medicate your child...actually SCHOOL IS MY BIGGEST FRUSTRATION... of their complete ignorance and understanding of children with challenging behaviours"

WOW!
Yes I could relate exactly to that, we experienced the exact thing with Caleb. From 2005-2008 Caleb went to 3 schools...3 in 3 years trying to find one that suited or understood him. These schools included both public and private. It didn't matter that we paid big dollars to send him there or that it was a public school, he just didn't cope or was it that they didn't cope! He got "asked to leave" the private school as the principal said "We don't tolerate children like Caleb in our School" and in his next school, a public secondary college, he got suspended so much that it wasn't worth him going back to complete 2008 (you can read about that in The Revolting Child) book.
Yes it is frustrating and yes you do feel isolated and NO ONE ,I mean NO ONE has the right to force you or guilt you or threaten you to medicate your child. This mother is right there is a lot of ignorance and lack of understanding. I am both a teacher and parent of a child that did not fit into the "box" and I implore teachers to please join us in understanding our children. Teachers play such a huge role and can make all the difference to how a child gets through these tough times. (get the 'Revolting Child' book to the teachers at your school)
There is so much that I can comment on and I don't want to write another book here :)....
but what are parents to do. We allowed Caleb to make the decision to leave school at 15 1/2 after we had done lots to help our situation at home, but of course for a younger child that may not be an option (unless you home school- a good option for some). So this mother might ask...what do we do?
I am going to share something that Caleb said when asked a question at a talk we did when we launched the book. He was asked "what made the difference, why did you turn things round?"
I can't quote his exact words but basically he said I wanted to make Mum and Dad proud and be good because they believed in me... I wanted to be the person they knew I could be.
Boy did hat make me teary.
So really my biggest tip here is.....
Ask your child how you can help, what they want, what their goals and aspirations are, what is important to them. Then show them total LOVE AND TOLERANCE, SHOW THEM THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THEM AND TRUST THEM AND YOU ARE ON THEIR SIDE ALWAYS.
Treat them with respect at home, allow them to tell their story and make decisions (according to age), gain their cooperation NOT control. Go and read part 6,7 and 8 of the book where we share all of this with you.
These simple principals along with taking care of the 'physical stuff, like diet, nutrition and a toxin free home' WILL make a difference.
Believe in yourself as a parent and believe in your child... that is the most important thing.
We have a saying here at home.... "What other people think of me is none of my business"
Happy parenting,
Cheers,
Lillian

ARE WE OVER MEDICATING OUR CHILDREN?

2010-03-24T18:52:00.000+10:00

I was sent an article today from a good friend who is passionate about what is happening with the over medicating of our children. Shelley heads an association called CCHR- Citizens Commission on Human Rights.
She sent me an article published in today's paper about... children as young as one are being prescribed powerful anti-psychotic drugs . I will paste the article below.

Many of you know my passion for education in this area and that these toxic band aides are mainly not the answers. Our survey results indicated that most of you agree. The relevant results are as follows:-

• I believe that children are being over medicated for learning and behavioural challenges? - 82 votes (87.2%)
• The child in my care or a close friend/family member has been diagnosed with a condition like ADHD/ADD, autism, aspergers or any other learning or behavioural challenge? - 52 votes (50%)
• The child in my care is or has been on some sort of medication? - 28 votes (26.9%)
• I would like to see children with challenges being treated with a more natural and holistic approach? - 89 votes (94.7%)

Almost 95% believe we should treat our precious children with a more natural and holistic approach.

So I think it's safe to say WE DON'T WANT TO medicate our children.
The challenge is for a lot of families that they don't know what to do or where to start. Often they are not given alternatives to drugs by many of our mainstream practitioners. But thank goodness we now have so many alternative practitioners and even mainstream ones that don't believe in medicating.

One of my goals with what we are doing is to help and support these families so they will have some confidence and the tools they need to go and make the changes in their home that can improve the well being of not only the child with challenges but also the whole family. OVER THE COURSE OF THESE BLOG ENTRIES AND ALSO THE WEBINARS I WILL BE CONDUCTING I INTEND TO COVER ALL OF THE AREAS THAT WE CAN WORK ON TO CREATE a happy and healthy home. Much of this information is also in my books and I know many of you have read one or all of them. If you haven't feel free to check them out on www.hiddendangers.com.au

I will copy the article below for you to read as mentioned earlier.

From: DailyTelegraph
March 24, 2010

CHILDREN as young as one are being prescribed powerful anti-psychotic drugs that have been linked to deaths overseas.

Kids prescribed toxic drug cocktail
• EXCLUSIVE by Kate Sikora
• From: The Daily Telegraph
• March 24, 2010 12:00AM

CHILDREN as young as one are being prescribed powerful anti-psychotic drugs that have been linked to deaths overseas.
The strong medication is designed to quell psychotic episodes normally experienced by adults with schizophrenia and bi-polar.
There are concerns some doctors are illegitimately writing scripts for pre-schoolers and primary school children for unapproved medical reasons, such as behavioural problems or ADHD.
Figures provided by the Therapeutic Goods Administration showed up to 3351 NSW children aged under 18 were prescribed the drugs in 2007-08.
Of them, at least 62 toddlers aged five and under - including five one-year-olds - were prescribed the drugs in NSW in that period.
"You can assume children under 12 are illegitimately being prescribed these drugs for behaviour problems. It should not be the case," University of South Australia's associate professor in psychiatry Dr Jon Jureidini said yesterday.
"These drugs are not marketed or recommended by the TGA for that use."
Common medications such as Risperdal, Zyprexa and Abilify are not approved for children under five. The TGA has approved Risperdal to treat children with autism.
Side effects can be so severe in adults that elderly patients with dementia are warned they have a higher risk of sudden death.
In the United States, 45 children died while taking anti-psychotic drugs between 2000 and 2004.
Common side effects include excessive weight gain, low blood pressure, increased risk of diabetes and painful muscle spasms.
Royal Australasian College of Psychiatrists' Dr Louise Newman argued that in some cases there was a need for children and toddlers to be placed on the drugs.
"They could suffer neurological disorders where the brain might have lesions. It is wrong that we don't talk about children with depression and other psychological disorders," she said.
"I treat children who are suffering depression or they have behavioural issues because their parent is depressed."
In 2007-08, almost 10,000 children under 18 throughout Australia were prescribed anti-psychotic medication, costing the Government $3.4 million.
Professor Vaughan Carr from the Schizophrenia Research Institute said it would be "good to have first-rate drug surveillance in place to record (reasons) for the prescription" to track the growing problem.
A spokeswoman for the Department of Health and Ageing said the prescribing of drugs was up to the doctor's discretion.

I don't know about you but I certainly don't like the idea of ANY children, especially toddlers being prescribed anti- psychotic drugs.
Let me know what you think.
Happy parenting,
Cheers,
Lillian

THE POWER OF OUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND- HOW OFTEN DO WE USE THE WORD..."DON'T"

2010-03-23T22:59:00.000+10:00

Hi everyone,
Just a thought I had while I was in my son Nathans clinic today getting some allergy testing done. (more on that later, I'll let you know how it went cause this is something we should all consider doing, especially for our sensitive children)
I had to lay still and quiet for 20 minutes while having 'Body Energy Balancing' done and contemplate the universe.
Nathan said something which made me think about the way we talk to others and how powerful our subconscious mind is. He said "Don't forget to take your watch off"

Recently I have been self correcting myself whenever I say..."Don't........"
I also notice how much others say "Don't......"
Instead he could have said,"Remember to take your watch off"
Let's think about that word "Don't" and how we use it and how often!

"Don't forget...... to do this or that or get this or that or be somewhere or do something"
What do you think our subconscious mind remembers about any of those phrases. It remembers the "forget" because as Andrew has often explained when he talks about our subliminal cd's that the subconscious does not recognise 'linguistic negatives' like don't' so in the phrase "Don't forget your phone" for example it is actually programing our minds to "forget the phone".

What about when we tell the kids "don't do that ....or ....will happen" what often happens?
"Don't do .....or you'll fall", "Don't do that ...or you'll hurt yourself", "Don't speak to me like that or I'll.....", If you don't ......I'll......."

So my tip is........how about we remember to say the outcome we want and not what we don't want. That goes for lots of things, even down to asking someone to remember to pick something up on the way home. (dare I say we should practice this on men!)

But most importantly lets think about how often we use the word "Don't" when talking to our children. Instead of "Don't do that or you'll hurt yourself" how about "Be careful so you will be safe"
"Don't forget to do your homework" or "Please remeber to do your homework",
"Don't be rough and hurt your sister' or "Play nicely and be gentle with your sister"
There are hundreds of examples. See if you catch yourself out over the next few days saying "don't" and if you do think of how you can turn it around so it is in positive language.
You may be surprised about the outcome :)
Cheers for now
Happy parenting,
Lillian

PARENTS ON AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER- START WITH A FAMILY MEETING

2010-03-22T19:23:00.001+10:00

With hundreds of comments and answers to questions it is a challenge knowing where to start.
I had lots of questions about food, diet, supplementation and how to keep your home free of toxins.
These were all important questions and I will answer them later. I will also cover these topics in the webinar series that I am currently working on.
Speaking of which I'd like some feedback to find out who is interested and the times that suit most best. I have had some feedback already that suggests later in the evenings when kids are in bed might be best, maybe around 8.30 ish?
I also had lots of questions about when we were coming to certain areas to do seminars, well my answer to that is if they are not local- SE QLD, we're not travelling this year- hence the webinars.
The webinars are going to be a way that we can get to more people all over the country so more on that later.

One strong message that came from your responses was that many of you feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster, having challenges with children 's behaviour and attitudes and others lack of understanding about what you are all going through.
Trust me I know how difficult it is and how disruptive it can be to your home life, your social life, your relationships and a BIG one at school.

For some it has meant broken marriages, being ostracised within the community, having no social life for parents or children and having children asked to leave schools or worst still being pressured to medicate. Each of these issues are huge and it upsets me to hear so many of you struggling. There is hope but there is no a magic pill that will make it all better. It is going to take work and a real team EFFORT FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.
Whether you are a single Mum/child family (and there are a few of those) or whether you have a large family support group I suggest you all do one thing to begin with. So this is my TIP.....

Organise a family meeting to discuss the challenges you are all having, be open and truthful but MOST importantly be supportive of each other. There is nothing to gain from blaming anyone in the family as no one is to blame as such. What you want to gain from the meeting is mutual cooperation (not control). Ask each person what they want and need and how you can help them. Often it is not only the child with the challenges that needs the help, in different ways everyone in the family has their own challenges due to what is happening. Let everyone know that you are all going to share your thoughts or concerns and that it is important that each person listens and does not interrupt.

Let everyone air their thoughts- even a 4 year old can do this!! Remember let them say their bit, do not interrupt them, judge them or their response and take notes of everyone's concerns.
If you have a child that is having particular challenges...... ask them.... "What can I do to help, what do you need?"

This is a good first step for any family as often we don't ask each other what we want and need.
If there are 2 adults in the home discuss further together or otherwise find another adult that can support you, like a parent, sibling or good friend. You are not wanting someone to tell or lecture you just to be a support.

We will chat more about what to do to gain cooperation later so lets try this and perhaps we can share some thoughts or outcomes.
Until next time,
Happy parenting,
Lillian

First blog- sharing comments/results from helping families with challenging children suveys

2010-03-19T15:09:00.000+10:00

Wow this is exciting. This is my first blog. I'm, still not sure how this all works so I'm hoping this gets to you :)
I would firstly like to thank all of those those participated in the surveys.
I'd like to start by sharing the results so far. I have had 390 responses to date and they are still coming in.
These are the results from the first lot of questions.
1) I am a parent/carer or a person concerned about children's welfare? - 77 votes (79.4%)

2) I am a parent/carer of a child with challenges? - 40 votes (41.2%)

3) I am a teacher/educator of a child with challenges? - 14 votes (14.4%)

4) The child in my care or a close friend/family member has been diagnosed with a condition like ADHD/ADD, autism,aspergers or any other learning or behavioural challenge? - 50 votes (51.5%)

5) The child in my care is or has been on some sort of medication? - 27 votes (27.8%)

1) I believe that children are being over medicated for learning and behavioural challenges? - 75 votes (87.2%)

2) I would like to see children with challenges being treated with a more natural and holistic approach? - 82 votes (95.3%)

3) I would like to learn more about how to have happy, healthy and harmonious children? - 63 votes (73.3%)


4) I have been to one of Lillian and Andrew Reekie's 'Hidden Dangers' seminars? - 52 votes (60.5%) 5) I have read one or all of Lillian Reekie's books- 'Hidden Dangers', 'The Best Me I Can Be' or 'The Revolting Child, A Blessing In Disguise'? - 67 votes (77.9%) With the other 2 questions that had to be answered I got 133 answers which were many and varied. It is these questions that I hope to be able to answer for you in this forum situation so that we can all learn from each other. I won't be using individual names but I will be drawing from your individual answers. Many of the answers and questions/concerns had a common link. Many were very emotional, I shed many tears and lots of answers proved to me that there is a dire need for help and support. The answers I have so far from the second lot of questions are helping me to work out how I can help you best so please keep those coming in. I hope you all have the Revolting Child E book now and have started reading. I look forward to hearing back from you when you have and we will be able to also discuss your thoughts together. This interactive forum was one way that you asked to be supported so please lets make it interactive with each of us participating and posting comments. I do just have one request please -- Can we please keep in mind this is not a forum for promoting specific companies and products, would you kindly leave that for now to personal conversations. That would be much appreciated :) So please respond so I know this is working and I will start answering your questions real soon. Cheers, Lillian