HOW DO WE GET OTHERS TO UNDERSTAND OUR CHILDREN?

I thought it was about time I answered some more questions from the survey.
This week I have been extremely busy getting the home study support group up and happening (there are still some places left)as well as our first webinar for next Wednesday 14th on ADHD/medication.
My intention was to write a new blog entry every day or two but time just hasn't permitted me to do so.

One very common thread through many of your comments was that there is a frustration out there getting others to understand your childs needs or how to get the best out of your child. These comments came from many parents but also some educators frustrated that parents were not open to looking at things like diet and new parenting skills so it does go both ways. There were even comments from parents saying other parents don't understand and judge them and their child. Even some comments that the childs other parent, siblings and other close relatives have problems understanding and dealing with the child.
I know that when we were dealing with Caleb, we had to be pretty pedantic about things like diet and eliminating toxins from his life.
Many I'm sure thought that we were over the top and what would one lolly or additive laden product do to hurt him. Others didn't understand how dramatic an effect could be if Caleb went off his routine of healthy diet and supplementation. Some got to see it first hand!!!!!

I think the first thing I would say is to establish a support group of family/teachers/friends that understand what you are trying to achieve.Let these people know why you are doing what you are and ask for their cooperation...yes we should do this with adults too. No one likes being told!!

Also most importantly gain your child's cooperation so they too know why you may be doing things a bit different from the norm. You can make an example of yourself by standing tall and proud that you are doing the best for your child and that you are willing to learn more to improve the situation. No one has the right to judge you for doing what is in YOUR child's best interests, it's not their business. If you have people of importance like a carer or teacher that does not seem to understand,ask for an appointment to sit down and talk to them, to gain their cooperation. Explain to them what you are doing and why and that their support is important. Share with them wins at home like when you have talked to your child and gained cooperation instead of yelling that your child responded positively.
Work hard at home to do as much as you can to gain results that you can then share with your teaches etc (just be careful to not have them feel like you are 'telling them' what to do but just what is working for you at home.) If they are a caring teacher they'll get it and try it out too. Also gain their cooperation regarding special dietary needs etc.
I still hear so many horror stories about kids being given foods that they are reactive to even after asking that they don't.

Also sometimes the third party approach is good. I hear of lots of parents sharing my books with their teachers and others close to the child to help then get their own ahaa's.

There really is so much you can do.
In summary-

1. Stand strong
2. Gain cooperation
3. Continue your education
4. Know that you are doing your best
5. Continue to tell your child how much you love them and how proud you are (unconditionally)
6. Draw on your support group often for encouragement or a shoulder if you need it.
   

Happy parenting
cheers,
Lillian